Thanks to @*TGJ
* for helping significantly with contributing to this story. Also known as “The EpicER Battle of Fort Knight”, this was a huge event that happened in my RPG. Wish more players could’ve been there to check it out. But this is from the Game Master’s point of view. If it’s too big for a single forum post, I’m going to have to break it up into “multi-posting” so you get the full story.
Sir Phantom had spent his entire family’s fortune preparing to take on the Paladins! They thought they were so high and mighty, but he wanted to take them down a peg! He had gone through immense pains to prepare for this single tipping point, selling his soul to the demon behind Evil Solicitors so that he could immediately learn how to cast Force Lighting was just the beginning of his deals with the devil. He even poisoned the tap water in his parents’ mansion, killing them so he could claim their fortune of 100 million Cubits! That might sound like a lot – and it is – but it was hardly enough to field his enormous army of over 200 thousand minions! Among them were 25 Psychic Minions, plasma troops, lions and attack dogs, and a legion of missiles including one DOOM MISSILE that could level an entire plot of land, effectively deleting the entire realm from Cubic Existence!
But The Platinum Paladin, with his Master level Psychic Power, could effortlessly detect such a massive event washing towards him from the future. He wasted no time in preparing. One of his best fighters – now known as “AIR” – became banished from space and time after a violent falling-out…so anticipating that would not change, The Platinum Paladin lived AIR’s dream of becoming the Cubic World Champion. Not only did The Platinum Paladin win the title of the single best fighter in all Qbee Land (by using his iconic Spirit Blade, The White Star), but the 200 million Cubit prize money was quickly spent. Half of that went to starting up a Triple-A Video Game Publishing Company with the hopes that he’ll be steadily making millions of Cubits…but not soon enough for the big moment in the near future.
With the remaining 100 million, he first invented Paladin Hero Armor, the apex of technology and magic for a massive magnitude of damage resistance! But because he had such a huge amount of money from the competition, he spent much of that on making an extra 100 suits for his elite Silver Paladins, including his closest friends. Those friends were also Heroes of the Order, specifically Joe. Only a couple weeks ago, Joe had won the Hero Medallion, the highest honor in the Order of Paladins, for his actions against the evil organization Nasty-Uh.
Knowing that time was short, The Platinum Paladin pulled an absolute all-nighter in preparing the 100 sets of armor. In addition, he spent that budget on more Paladin CHAOS armor to replace the common Knight Armor his Bronze Paladins wore…and hired master armorsmiths to ease the burden of making a grand total of 1,000 suits of armor. Plus, he spent millions on buying a million rifles…special versions of energy from another fan fiction that addressed these guns humorously as “Palsma Rifles”. Yes, the typo is done on purpose for comedic effect, but their improved damage and rapid-fire capabilities were a huge leap forward from his old semi-auto plasma rifle.
Meanwhile, after a long break, The Only Moneybags had returned from the brink of uncharted territories. Moneybags wanted to learn how to fly, and given the urgency of the Order, The Platinum Paladin needed Moneybags in the air as soon as possible. So, he spared no expense in putting Moneybags into Flight School. The Platinum Paladin even went so far as to put down payments towards 3 jets, one for Moneybags. They can easily be paid off in increments assuming the Triple-A business takes off. The business had a minor snag with getting started, but he was hoping there would be no further complications.
At Flight School, Moneybags met another pilot with the callsign of “Hammer”. The person explained, “I wanted it to be Warhammer, but the guys said that sounded too cool, so this was the compromise.” The teacher began lecturing at Flight School, regularly reminding students about how crucial it is to not doze off in class – a hard slam of the textbook sent a startling reminder that, “If this were a dogfight, that book means you would’ve been shot!” The teacher didn’t get far into the orientation lecture before red lights started flashing and sirens were blaring. The teacher calmly explained, “There seems to be an emergency. Class dismissed.” Turns out there were missiles heading straight for the Flight School! Numerous jet fighters scrambled to intercept the attack, and while successful, they took moderate damage from the explosions.
The Platinum Paladin was sending his friends to such adventures all specifically with the common goal of preparing for The Second Epic Battle of Fort Knight. And he thought the first one would’ve been the epic to end all epics. Remembering that he killed the Terror of the Borderlands as a mere Initiate, and how there were armored spider-bots and tens of thousands of Demonic Orcs (Dorcs), that paled in comparison to what they were up against today.
Joe stepped in asking for a situational report (sitrep for short). The Platinum Paladin pointed him to a computer with a GPS. The hoard was so massive, it was enough to fill a whole 50 x 50 realm! You couldn’t miss it! Joe swore and cursed, while The Platinum Paladin coolly responded, “Exactly. They have the numbers, but we have the tech.”
As the Army was marching to Fort Knight, there was a report of a naval battle off the shores of Eden. Numerous Corsair boats were firing cannons at the mainland! But the Helpful Pirate Society, led by Lucie Winterwolf, put a stop to those antics. All these attacks were funded and coordinated by Sir Phantom and the wealth he took from his now dead parents. The two navies were technologically even, but at first Lucie Winterwolf had the numbers…until even more blood-stained money was dumped to reinforce the numbers a hundred-fold! In the end, both navies were almost absolutely crushed, barely limping away with any more than a dozen on both sides.
While the Army was only a day away, The Platinum Paladin bought giant crates of ammo for the thousand “Palsma Rifles” that would be lighting up. After that, he and Joe got together to talk tactics. Joe was more than eager to tackle the threat head-on, but The Platinum Paladin explained, “There is good tactical reason to hole up in Fort Knight. Not only do we have the steel walls and the home field advantage, but from here there are only 3 directions an enemy can approach. One’s from the South, through No Bee’s Land, which leaves everyone exposed in the open and may face random bandit-raider attacks. The second is from the North, which means pushing through our territory and specifically Paladin City. The third is by Air, but there were no signs of enemy aircraft, so I doubt they’d have the capabilities to air-drop a huge legion of pawns.”
After sizing up the intelligence reports side-by-side, The Platinum Paladin concluded by saying, “They may have the numbers, but we have the tech.” After a good long sleep, just before the battle, The Platinum Paladin had performed one final makeover on The White Star! With electrum and imported platinum, he upped it to a magnitude worthy of a true Master!
The day of the battle! The enormous hoard flooded the streets of Paladin City, with random civilians heckling them. The natives really don’t like the idea of an invading force, especially if those natives happen to live in Paladin territory! Catapults hurled boulders en masse at the Great Stone Wall, through what limited vantages they could get around the tall buildings in Paladin City. They might’ve had cover, but aiming was very awkward given how crowded the urban streets were. The Platinum Paladin gave a dramatic rallying speech after Joe’s own pep talk, all of which had brought the Thousand Paladins together much more strongly. The elite plasma units invading managed to injure a few Bronze Paladins and concentrate on the front Heroes, but against Hero Armor, the standard-issue Plasma Rifles barely damaged the energy fields produced by the integrated shield generators.
All the while the giant DOOM MISSILE was heading for Fort Knight! The Platinum Paladin flew right to it, but as soon as he sliced open the service panel, he quirked an eyebrow. He radioed, “Joe, walk me through it. How do I disarm this without it blowing up.” Joe was friends with The Platinum Paladin, so instead of verbally helping, he just teleported to The Platinum Paladin. There wasn’t much time before the ultimate weapon would destroy everything, so The Platinum Paladin telepathically linked minds with Joe, so they could communicate at the speed of thought! The duo used this boon to work together, with one doing tasks while the other handed separate priorities on defusing the complex bomb. But before they could totally pull it off, the detonation sequence activated early! With barely a turn’s worth of time left, The Platinum Paladin boomed, “JOE! GO TO PLAN B!” The two of them leaped off the missile, and The Platinum Paladin put all his effort into telepathically hoisting it up into the sky! Even with his maximum power, the effort found only partial success. The troops on the ground felt only the shockwave, but the two heroes found their Hero Armor systems damaged, with the integrated shields completely broken.