JA Biztown Mayor Speech Corrections

edited February 2018 in Community
So, I'm doing a thing called JA Biztown. It's basically a place in which you simulate a job. I'm going for Mayor, and I need a speech. Be sure to tell me if I should correct or improve anything.

Greetings, fellow IronMasters. My name is [insert my name here, dunno if I should say it or not]. Some of you may know me, and some of you may not. Whether or not you know me, I would like to be your mayor for our upcoming JA Biztown Field Trip. From being a hardworking person to being smart, here's why I should be mayor. My first reason is that I'm hardworking. I enjoy working when it must be done, and won't procrastinate whatsoever. It explains my prestigious grades. That brings me to my next reason in which I should be mayor. I have the intelligence to do the job with ease. I have straight As, and am in honors reading and language arts, as well as advanced math. My fellow IronMasters, I'm very sure (or at least I hope so) that you wouldn't want a feebleminded mayor, as that would make things... much more interesting to say the least. So please, if you want a diligent and astute mayor, you know who to vote for.

(This is on community because I want the community to tell me what they think)

Comments

  • So, I'm doing a thing called JA Biztown. It's basically a place in which you simulate a job. I'm going for Mayor, and I need a speech. Be sure to tell me if I should correct or improve anything.

    Greetings, fellow IronMasters. My name is [insert my name here, dunno if I should say it or not]. Some of you may know me, and some of you may not. Whether or not you know me, I would like to be your mayor for our upcoming JA Biztown Field Trip. From being a hardworking person to being smart, here's why I should be mayor. My first reason is that I'm hardworking. I enjoy working when it must be done, and won't procrastinate whatsoever. It explains my prestigious grades. That brings me to my next reason in which I should be mayor. I have the intelligence to do the job with ease. I have straight As, and am in honors reading and language arts, as well as advanced math. My fellow IronMasters, I'm very sure (or at least I hope so) that you wouldn't want a feebleminded mayor, as that would make things... much more interesting to say the least. So please, if you want a diligent and astute mayor, you know who to vote for.

    (This is on community because I want the community to tell me what they think)

    Make sure you know how to say every word. And other than that it's really good.
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