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Just like that one scene from A Christmas Story

KokopelliKokopelli WV, USAMember
in Off-Topic 13.75 Karma
So I go to school in portables because a flood back in 2016 took out the highschool. The thing is, with these portables you have to go outside inbetween classes rain or shine, and snow... but they’re also 8 feet off the ground to keep them from being in a flood plain. With that there’s metal handrailing all along the open boardwalk/hallway. And with the recent cold temperatures on the US east coast it’s been in the negatives (like -3 Fahrenheit) when we go to school In the mornings.
Well yesterday me and a group of friends not having enough common sense to get out of the cold get to messing around when one of us pipes up how one of us should lick the metal handrail. An one kid goes on about how that’s a myth, we argue back and forth on how it’s not, but know it all isn’t swayed. And to prove a point he looks us all in the eyes say watch and see. Places his tounge on the frost covered handrail for a few seconds and after a couple tugs, realizes he’s stuck. Like stuck really good, not even budging. He promptly begins thrashing about and yelling. We tell him to quit freaking out and he eventually does. Now see, a responsible thing to do in this situation would be to pour warm water over the area. But this is highschool and next thing you know one friend has a hold of his head counting down to yanking the dunce-cicle off the railing.
3 2 1, there’s a ripping sound, as in ripping paper. Followed by screaming and hollering from the rest of us as we realize that not only did we liberate ol’frosty but also ripped of the flesh of his tounge, resulting in a steady drip of blood coming from his mouth. Also leaving some of the tounge still on the railing to which one of us takes a picture of. Realizing that Toungless in Seattle here needs medical attention we walk him down to the main office where the clinic is. By that I mean I followed suit giving him a tounge lashing for his stupidity while making as many tounge and mouth puns as possible.
There it’s decided tastebudless needs to go to get stitches. Luckily he’s impoverished so the only medical attention skin mouth and his siblings ever get is threw cabin creek. Which is based on school/trailer park grounds, he gets taken there, parents are notified, etc. and so me and the rest of us are expecting to get a tounge lashing ourselves form the principal are surprised to find out that he’s just letting us off with a warning, and we go on to 1st period only about 10 min late. Wth even is this school. An slit tounge is back in class by the end of 2nd period.


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